As we look upon these lands that are to become our realm, we note that pain and suffering are already endemic. This will not do. We intend to inflict pain and suffering upon the populace ourselves, and will not be able to gloat properly unless we start with a clean slate. Therefore, in order to make the masses more content and well-adjusted, that we may take greater pleasure in tormenting them ourselves, we hereby open this advice forum.
Post your question, and we shall explain to you how to run your life. We are open to any kind of question, from the serious to the timid and from the silly to the sublime.