The Evil Overlady (evil_overlady) wrote in askeviloverlady,
The Evil Overlady

A self-solving problem

A minion writes:
to put it short, ive been in a realtionship for two years and i no longer love my bf. we dont have n e thing to talk about and soemtimes he keeps me up all night with his screaming about this thing and that thing, "youre cheating on me," "you never want to do what i want to do," "dont you love me"? but its true, i dont love him and i never want to do what he does and im not having an affair but i want to, and thats almost as bad. but he truely loves me and he says that if i leave hell kill himslef. plus we live togehter and he owes me thousands of $$ in rent bcuz he hasnt worked for like a year, so if i throw him out i never get the money, that sounds petty but i relly need it!! its a bad reson to stay in a realtionship but i cant afford to give up the money for good and i dont have enough to move out. what should i do?
If we understand you correctly, you are sharing an apartment with a screamy, clingy, lazy man who owes you a vast sum of money and who will kill himself if you leave him. The situation may seem difficult to you, but as you will see, it holds the seeds of its own solution.

  1. Talk with your boyfriend. Your concern about his suicidal impulses is laudable. Find a quiet, peaceful evening to talk with him, then bring all your compassionate feelings to bear as you probe to find out how he plans to kill himself. Pills? A gun? A noose? His plans may be nebulous. Try to talk him through as much as you can, clarifying his plans with him if he needs help. It is important to get as much detail as you can--detail is the key to his mental health. Also make it clear that you care for him deeply and are concerned for him. Discuss the future of your relationship as he envisions it. Over the course of the discussion, get the amount he owes you in writing.

  2. Stock the house well with pills, razorblades, rope, etc.

  3. Go have that affair! You deserve a vacation after all the hell he's put you through.
    Implicate his own inadequacies as much as possible--find a rich lover if he's sensitive about being poor, find a tall man if he's sensitive about being short, find a long man if he's sensitive about being, well, short. Make certain he finds out about it.

  4. Break up with him loudly and dramatically. Make certain that the entire housing block knows your lover is rich/tall/long. Then grab your prepacked bag of necessities and adjourn to your safe house.

  5. Wait three days, then go home. Remember: If his debt to you is in writing, you are entitled to money or compensation in kind (that means his stuff) from his estate to pay off his debt.
Some men will need more groundwork than others before they are ready to be pushed over the edge. You may also need to take additional precautions for your safety. For example, you may wish to steer your boyfriend away from using guns as a suicide weapon. If you fear for your personal safety, you may wish to choose a different tack, but as your boyfriend sounds like the soppy whiny type, you should have no troubles. We wish you and your soon-to-be-new boyfriend well.
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