an (e_v_jyna) wrote in askeviloverlady,
an
e_v_jyna
askeviloverlady

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Seeking aide

Dear mistress of almighty power,

The time has come where I have noticed that there is a plethora of pathetic do-gooder people around at all times to spoil my ingenious scheems of top secret Khazor information. I believe that this issue arises due to the fact that I go to school am everyday stuck with going to a learning facility, which is placed on the grounds of a Hindu Yoga retreat center. I fear that universal karmic powers are entirely against me in this field, due to the massive positive-feedback loop of sheer goodness from the Karma-yoga practiced by the denizens of this terrible little conclave on top of the mountain.

Now I ask you this question; how in the name of all 666 layers of the Abyss can I make my evil plans come in to frutition? I have the following items at my disposal:

1 Compaq Presario 1750T Desktop (233mhz, 64mbSDRAM, 1.2gig's left of space).
1 1977 Chevrolet Malibu (solid steel body, 350hpV8).
1 1984 Volkswagon Fox Sedan (*forgotten unknown specs*).
8 Laser Challenge Pistols (250' range infrared beam).
22 Xerox machines worth of internal parts.
1 Currently thawing package of Tri-Tip beef (6 pieces).
1 full set of each: Orriginal Star Trek series; Babylon 5 (all seasons); Due South; Red Dwarf.
A sickeningly cute Faerie Dragon.
Intimate knowledge of 8-bit Theatre and Elf Only Inn.
1 Refrigerator.
All the resources of a California Pine Forest.
1 Consort.
1 Talking Butters® Plushie (South Park).
1 Dead hamster.

Now, using only these materials, is there any plan of action that I could use to possibly distrupt the karmic might of the conclave, or simply bypass it entirely?

Seeking aide,
-Khazor
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  • 2 comments
If you have two cars, a consort, a computer, a forest, and several carloads of sellable equipment and memorabilia, why on earth are you going to school at a yoga retreat center? For God's sake. If you cannot figure out how to Ebay your assets and raise funds for tuition at a real school, we prefer not to help you.

Besides, we think well of yoga retreat centers. Retreatists are quiet and well-mannered, and tend to believe any sufficiently pastel-colored idea we choose to drop into the memepool. If only all minions were so biddable.
I seem to remember you having a pink gameboy to sell, too.